• Sometimes you take a break, and realize, BREAK OVER!

    4bfcd2eee28984e46c009c51843e3f4aWell, so I kind of fell off the wagon, and bad, over the past week or so, so bad that we went to the grocery store this week and I ever bought bad things! Like skim milk, and stuff to make cookies.. I don’t DO that crap anymore…..

    Anyways, it’s funny, because normally, if I fall off track, I hop right back on, and I’m fine… one or two days off, that’s it. But this time, it’s been like 9 days. For the most part I have cared about what’s been going in my body, but I don’t know, lately, I haven’t…. I’ve been craving bad things, wanting bread and wheat, and not really caring about what happens… but today, TODAY, I have felt it.. my head started hurting like it used to before I started eating healthy, I was tired, and I don’t feel as amazing as I usually do… it’s horrible, and it’s because I’ve fallen off track so much.. HOW hard can this really be??? I go in to start fitting my wedding dress on Saturday and I’m just dreading that… I’m SO scared to gain weight back it’s not even funny, so if I’m SO SCARED, then why am I letting myself fall off the wagon so bad? Yeah, I’ve been stressed beyond belief the past few weeks, but that’s no excuse… and yes, I get it, I’ve been healthy, eating clean, etc, and taking a day off here and there, but this week long hiatus, needs to stop.

    Just when things get good – when you start fitting into clothes, when you start feeling good about yourself, and when you start gaining confidence, that’s when you get scared you are going to lose it, and isn’t that motivation enough to keep going and get back on track??? Well for me it is… I love the way I feel right now, and the way I look and LET ME TELL YOU, feeling “beautiful” for the first time ever…. i never ever want that to go  away…. never… why isn’t this easier? UGH

    Really? BY THE WAY IM SICK OF THIS SHIT on FACEBOOK on freaking WOMEN’S LIFESTYLE… i mean honestly, how could anyone think this is real, and how could anyone think that you can just “melt away belly fat”.. if I can “melt away belly fat” then I better be able to turn my shit into money because someone is smoking SOMETHING if they think A) this person actually lost weight… you do know the tricks for making yourself look better in a transformation pic right? IF NOT READ THIS HAHA (THE HIDDEN TRUTH BEHIND TRANSFORMATION PICS)…. sidebar – in that article, the end hits home…. this is what she says:

    So my advice to you if you want to change your physique, is to make small changes towards your goals. Stop wanting results in a week, or a month, make changes you can sustain- be patient and consistent. Dont stop going out with your friends, don’t carry rice and veggies around in your backpack. Learn about food, come up with an achievable plan for you and most importantly enjoy how you exercise and live your life.

    But seriously, this crap, does NOT make me want to lose weight…. so yeah, Women’s Lifestyle, keep lying, and posting this shit, it makes me so happy 🙂

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    BEST PART ABOUT FALL —– PUMPKIN EVERYTHING – and since im watching what i’m eating, i thought i would find some yummy recipes


    Pumpkin-Pie-Brownie-CupcakesPumpkin Pie Brownie ‘Cupcakes’

    Adapted from Vegan Cupcakes.


    Pumpkin Brownie Layer:

    • 1 cup canned pumpkin
    • 1/2 cup + 3 tbsp sugar
    • 1/4 cup coconut oil, softened
    • 3/4 cup white kamut flour (or white)
    • 1.5 tsp pure vanilla extract
    • 1 tbsp cornstarch (or arrowroot/tapioca)
    • 1/4 cup dutch processed cocoa powder
    • 1/2 tsp sea salt
    • 1/2 tsp baking soda

    Pumpkin Pie Layer:

    • 1 cup canned pumpkin
    • 2 tbsp cornstarch (or arrowroot/tapioca)
    • 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
    • 1/3 cup sugar
    • 3 tbsp almond milk
    • 2 tsp pumpkin pie spice (or 1 1/4 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp ginger, 1/4 tsp nutmeg)
    • Shaved chocolate, for garnish


    1. Preheat oven to 350F and grease a muffin tin.

    2. For brownie layer: In a stand mixer or by hand, mix together the coconut oil, pumpkin, vanilla, and sugar until blended well. Sift in the flour, cocoa powder, cornstarch, baking, soda, sea salt and mix until incorporated. Take about 2 tbsp of the mixture and place in muffin tin. Wet fingers and spread around evenly so it is smooth. I made 8 large cupcakes and 2 small ones.

    3. For pumpkin layer: In a large bowl mix together the pumpkin, vanilla, and milk. In a small bowl, mix together the cornstarch, sugar, and pumpkin pie spice. Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet and mix well until all clumps are gone. Now add approx 1.5-2 tbsp of the pumpkin pie mixture on top of each brownie in the pan. Garnish with grated chocolate (I used a lemon zester to grate the chocolate).

    4. Bake for 30 minutes at 350F. Remove from oven and cool for 20-30 minutes and then move to the fridge to chill for 1.5 hours.

    5. Serves approx 8-10. I made 8 large cupcakes and 2 small ones (for kids). Enjoy with vegan vanilla ice cream.

    This brownie batter is UNBELIEVABLE.  Quite possibly the best brownie batter I’ve ever tasted.

    Pumpkin-Pie-Quinoa-Breakfast-BakePumpkin Pie Quinoa Breakfast Casserole

    Author: Leanne Vogel
    Prep time:  
    Cook time:  
    Total time:  
    Serves: 2 servings
    This sweet and crunchy topped quinoa bake is the perfect way to start off the weekend. And heck, who doesn’t like the taste of dessert for breakfast?
    1. Preheat oven to 350F and lightly oil a 4 cup casserole dish. [I used a small dab of coconut oil]
    2. In a small bowl combine all ingredients, minus the topping. Stir until fully mixed, then pour into prepared casserole dish.
    3. Cover and cook for 30 minutes.
    4. Meanwhile, combine all topping ingredients. After the 30 minutes are up, remove casserole from oven and sprinkle topping over top of the casserole.
    5. Return to the oven and cook uncovered for another 10-15 minutes, or until golden. [Mine was ready in 12 minutes]

    Read more: http://ohsheglows.com/2010/10/01/pumpkin-pie-brownie-cupcakes/#ixzz2dRwq6ZLB


    Pumpkin-PancakesPumpkin Pancakes


    1 cup whole wheat flour
    1/4 cup ground chia seeds (can use flax meal)
    1 tablespoon of sugar
    2 teaspoons baking powder
    1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
    1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
    1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
    pinch of ground cloves
    1 cup 2 percent milk
    6 tablespoons canned pumpkin puree
    2 tablespoons canola oil
    1 egg


    1. In a large bowl whisk together all the dry ingredients.
    2. In a separate bowl, stir together milk, pumpkin puree, oil, and egg.
    3. Fold wet mixture into dry ingredients.
    4. Oil a skillet over medium heat; pour in 1/4 cup batter for each pancake. Cook pancakes about 3 minutes per side; serve with toasted pecans and maple yogurt.

    Makes between 8 and 10 pancakes.


    Drink This: Pumpkin Spice Smoothie

    Pumpkin Spice Smoothie Recipe


    1/2 cup pumpkin (canned or freshly cooked)
    1/2 frozen banana
    3/4 cup almond milk
    1/2 scoop (or approx. 2 T) vanilla protein powder
    1 tsp cinnamon
    1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
    pinch of ground ginger


    • Put all ingredients in the blender and blend until smooth. Pour into a glass and enjoy!

    Skinny-Pumpkin-Banana-BarsSkinny Pumpkin-Banana Bars

    For more recipes like this check out my blog, Whipped, at www.whippedbaking.com!
    I love regular pumpkin bars – but the addition of banana makes the flavor in these so smooth and compliments the pumpkin perfectly.  Topped with a light cream cheese frosting – these are heaven. Plus these are a much lower cal way to indulge in a fall favorite – all of the flavor and none of the guilt!

    Note: These can also easily be made into a dairy-version by swapping out the soy yogurt for regular yogurt, dairy-free cream cheese for regular, and vegan margarine for regular

    • 2 eggs
    • 1/2 cup mashed banana
    • 1 2/3 cups granulated sugar
    • 1/2 cup vegetable oil
    • 1/2 cup soy yogurt (or regular yogurt)
    • 15-ounce can pumpkin
    • 2 cups sifted all purpose flour
    • 2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
    • 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
    • 1 teaspoon nutmeg
    • 1/4 teaspoon allspice
    • 1 teaspoon salt
    • 1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda
    • 8-ounce package dairy-free cream cheese (I like Tofutti brand) , softened
    • 1/2 cup vegan margarine (I like Earth Balance), softened
    • 2 cups sifted confectioners’ sugar
    • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

    1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and grease a 9×13 inch baking pan.
    2. Using an electric mixer at medium speed, combine the eggs, mashed banana, sugar, oil, soy yogurt, and pumpkin until light and fluffy.
    3. Stir together the flour, baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, salt and baking soda
    4. Add the dry ingredients to the pumpkin mixture and mix at low speed until thoroughly combined and the batter is smooth.
    5. Spread the batter into your greased baking pan and bake for 40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out almost clean with most crumbs clinging to it. Let cool completely before frosting.
    6. Combine the dairy-free cream cheese and vegan margarine in a medium bowl with an electric mixer until smooth.  Add the sugar and mix at low speed until combined.  Stir in the vanilla and mix again. Spread on cooled pumpkin bars.


    Pumpkin-CaipirinhaPumpkin Caipirinha


    1/2 lime, cut into 4 pieces
    1/2 oz. agave nectar
    crushed ice
    1 1/2 oz. cachaça (can substitute with a white rum)
    1 1/2 oz. pumpkin puree
    1/2 oz. ginger liqueur (can substitute with 1/2 oz. homemade ginger simple syrup or 1 tsp. freshly peeled and grated ginger)

    For garnish:
    grated nutmeg
    lime wedge
    pumpkin sliver


    The base of this recipe uses cachaça — a popular distilled spirit from Brazil that is made from sugarcane. If you don’t have cachaça, feel free to use rum instead. Both spirits are made from unrefined sugars, though cachaça tends to be a tad tarter and sharper.

    1. In a cocktail shaker, combine lime and agave nectar (if using fresh ginger, add it at this time); muddle. Add ice, cachaça, pumpkin puree, and ginger liqueur; shake well. Garnish drink with grated nutmeg, pumpkin sliver, and lime wheel.

    Makes one cocktail.


    Pumpkin Protein Cheesecake Mousse

    Pumpkin Protein Cheesecake Mousse


    1 cup low-fat or fat-free cottage cheese
    1/2 cup pumpkin puree
    1/4 cup milk of choice
    1 tbs sugar-free instant butterscotch (or vanilla) dry pudding mix
    1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
    1/2 tsp cinnamon
    3-6 packets stevia, or to taste (or sweetener of choice to taste)

    Optional toppings:
    light whip cream


    1. Place everything in a blender, and blend until smooth. Serve immediately or cover and place in the refrigerator until chilled — at least one hour. Top with light whip cream and/or crushed gingersnap cookies if desired!


    Smoked-Pumpkin-ChiliSMOKED PUMPKIN CHILI

    What you’ll need . . . 

    • 1 medium to large cooking onion, chopped
    • 3 large cloves of garlic, chopped
    • 1 tablespoon olive oil
    • 2 cans (or one large can) of dark kidney beans, drained and rinsed.
    • 1 can of low-sodium corn kernels, drained and rinsed
    • 1 large (28 ounce) can whole peeled tomatoes, keep the juice
    • 1 can pumpkin puree
    • 1 cup vegetable broth (or beer of choice)
    • 1 tablespoon smoked paprika (or regular)
    • 1 teaspoon black pepper
    • 1/2 to 1 teaspoon salt
    • 10 to 15 sage leaves (optional)

    Method . . . 

    1. In a large saucepan, heat the olive oil over medium-high heat and add the onions and garlic. Cook until onions are tender.
    2. Pour in the pumpkin puree and vegetable broth (or beer). Mix. Pour in the can of whole tomatoes (with the juice). Mix again.
    3. Then add the kidney beans and corn kernels. Season with the paprika, black pepper, and salt.
    4. Bring mixture to a boil, stirring occasionally. You’ll want to use a spatula or mixing spoon to crush the whole tomatoes a bit. Keep them chunky, but try to crush each one a couple times to distribute evenly.
    5. Then lower the heat to a simmer and cover. Cook for 45 minutes. Again, stir occasionally.
    6. Add in the sage leaves (I rubbed mine a bit with my fingers to get the flavor out before dropping into the pot). Cook at a low simmer for another 15 minutes.

    How much does it suck that we can’t accept ourselves for who we are? Like REALLY. I am just over feeling this way… why am I not good enough? Why isn’t my body good enough for society???? IT shouldn’t matter what I look like, anything should be good enough. I’m healthy and in shape, that’s ALL THAT should matter……… RIGHT? So why can’t I get that in my head??? Why can’t I just accept that. I was chatting with Shan this morning about all of this, and honestly, we both agreed that we are glad that we are older, because we feel like the pressure that is on younger girls these days to look a certain way is just REDIC, and that if we felt that pressure now, but were 14-15 and looked the way we did when we were 14-15ish, we would have been depressed as shit….. that or be bullied more…. I just don’t understand why it has to be like this… why is there this underlying pressure to make sure you look a certain way, dress a certain way, and BE a certain way… why can’t you just BE YOU and be happy being you..

    This weekend I was on my bachelorette party, and I had the MOST amazing time in the world….. and I felt GREAT in my outfits, I really really did… I felt 100 times better then I knew I would felt if I hadn’t already lost the 60 pounds… but SHIT, I still didn’t feel amazing. My friends are GORGEOUS… they are thin, and healthy, and fit and can literally rock any outfit possible, so being out with them, man, it sucks! hahaha. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Ask them to look like shit just because I’m insecure about the way I feel? NO! Duh! What I’m supposed to do is suck it the EFF up. But in the back of my mind, those are the thoughts I have… why don’t I look like them, why can’t I be like them… it’s a horrible thought to have, but let’s face it, we have those thoughts.

    I don’t want to feel like that anymore – I don’t want to care so much about how I look, so you know what….. today starts Day One of a new mindset – I’m healthy, I’m happy, I’m strong, and I don’t give a FUCK about what I look like with or without clothes. I don’t care anymore… I just don’t care. I am going to not worry about this anymore because it’s eating me UP inside… so guess what, DONE AND DONE. No more caring… I’m going to keep eating healthy, keep working out like a MOFO and LOVING MY BODY. I am LOVING THAT DAMN BODY OF MINE NO MATTER WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE….. Shouldn’t we ALL??? We are alive, and that’s all that matters, so just freaking LOVE WHAT YOUR MOMMA GAVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! BELOW YOU WILL SEE WHAT MY MOM GAVE ME AND I DONT CARE I LOVE IT!

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  • Life changes, new beginnings, and finally, a tight dress!!!!

    So it’s funny when you realize that a chapter of your life has ended…. the chapter in your life that even got you started on the path you’ve started down.. that’s how I felt on Thursday… Thursday was my last day at my Box, where this whole thing started… It’s going to suck, I love all the people there, but sometimes you just need to try new things… I have to be all sad and depressing for a minute, because I really do love the people that have shown me how to kick ass, love myself and believe in myself… I really really am going to miss each and every one of them… Gyms are like families, and leaving that family, it’s going to suck. I’ve been a member since like September, and I will never forget the amount of support that they have shown me, and the friendships that have developed from there…. But somethings have to end, new families have to form, and sometimes people just have to part ways… Most of my success has been because of that place, the people that have pushed me, through life and WODs…. so yeah, it’s going to suck… but the biggest thing is, I’M NOT STOPPING. I started at my new box today, and I will say, I’m not even worried about not having a great group of people to workout with… Walking into a new box is like walking into a new high school for the first time… are you going to fit in? Are you going to be wearing the right clothes? Are you going to be slow, fast, last, first? All of those things were going through my head walking through the door of Crossfit PWC, but you know what, it was great. The trainers are great, the members are great, and I think I’m really going to feel great and feel at home at this new box. Honestly, it doesn’t matter where you are doing it, as long as you are doing it… RIGHT? I’ve come so far to give up now… and I won’t. This opens a new chapter to my life, and I’m happy to say, I’m super excited to see where this chapter leads me.

    So you're telling me there's a chance I could look hot for my bachelorette party?
    So you’re telling me there’s a chance I could look hot for my bachelorette party?

    Can I tell you guys how good I feel? Dudes, I will also complain after this, but I am just feeling great.. my new clothes are fitting great, I look good, and it just makes me super confident again – it makes me not want to stop. I went shopping on Sunday for outfits for my bachelorette party next weekend………… OK OK OK, I have to say this…. Raise your hand if you’ve had a bachelorette party….. Ok, put them down… raise your hand if you haven’t had one, but want one…….. ok, down… raise your hand if you are headed to yours next weekend and you are overweight and want to feel like a hot piece on your bachelorette party? Am i the only one sitting here raising my hand?!?! I must be. Think of it this way, this is your last big hoorah – this is the one night its all about you, this is the one night that all your SUPER HOT FRIENDS are going to look EVEN SUPER HOTTER and you want to also look super hot HAHA…. so then, remind yourself, that you are overweight, and hate tight cothes and all that shit…. THEN what do you do? well for me, i got out of my comfort zone and look what i found….. Thanks to my friend Jessica, I am opening the doors to a whole new outlook on my body and the outfits I choose to wear…… So without further adieu – I give you, my bachelorette party outfits! Can I just gasp and say, NO WAY.. and NO WAY  could I have EVER A) Looked Good or B) Felt Comfortable in outfits like these?!?!?!?! (and I know I know, again with the faces, they are horrible, and I should be wearing heels, but it was late and I didn’t feel like getting all perfect)  AND OMG I HAVE A FIGURE. I MEAN SHIT – DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I’VE WAITED TO HAVE A FIGURE??!?!?!??? I mean I’m just saying, I could never imagine myself wearing something like this, EVER EVER EVER, and the red one?!?! THE RED ONE IS BACKLESS… (im not showing you because I have a horrible tan line back there haha… but wow, I’m SHOCKED!

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  • Why going to the beach SUCKS! Oh, and I lost my engagement ring, because my fingers are too skinny!

    When another tan, super skinny girl in a bikini walks on the beach with her VGD

    When another tan, super skinny girl in a bikini walks on the beach with her VGD

    So —– yes… I am on vacation… it’s great LET ME TELL YOU – I have totally conquered a few fears while I’ve been here also…. So let me start by talking about the negative. HOLY SHIT DOES IT SUCK BEING PLUS SIZE ON THE BEACH WITH ALL THESE LITTLE BITTIES WALKING AROUND WITH THEIR VDGs!!!!?!?!! (if you need to know what VDG is, I talk about it in these posts: VGD 1, VGD 2, VGD 3) I mean, sure, if you’ve got it girllllll FLAUNT IT. Rock that bikini like you’re in the Victoria’s Secret fashion show…. please please PLEASE get the smallest bikini possible and get the BEST tan of your life… I mean, shit, THAT’S WHAT I WOULD BE DOING!!! But if you want an instant shot to the self esteem – walk down to any beach and see how awesome YOU FEEL!

    Anyways, talk about self esteem issues… yes, ok, so in the past years of going to the beach (and just a backstory, we’ve been coming here for the past 16 years and oh, I’m always the biggest one on the beach) I would sit on the beach with my bathing suit, covered up by a tshirt and shorts, or a dress, or something, but i would NEVER be out there with just my bathing suit on… this also led to some AMAZING tan lines. I never wanted anyone to see me in my real body. And being in a bathing suit, is the closest anyone is going to get to seeing me in my birthday suit. I never EVER wanted to be in my suit either, with all my adorable cousins running around and their friends.. and even the boys… and EVEN though the boys are much younger then me, and clearly nothing would ever happen, it’s just a self esteem thing. When no one was looking I would shed off all my clothes and run into the ocean making sure no one saw… it was that bad. I mean honestly, the bathing suit is the worst thing in the world. No MATTER WHAT size you are, you always find something to hate about it. Hey, I get it. I feel you. And some people DONT have an issue with their body, and for that, I applaud you.. you are amazing.. I wish I could be just like you. But for all of us other people…. We are just going to keep going around being unhappy with ourselves on the beach, till we finally are.. I dont understand why the people that invented bathing suits couldn’t have invented something a little less CLINGY?!?! i mean come on, don’t they make something that doesn’t STICK TO YOU???

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