• Trapped in a glass case of body image roller coastering emotions!

    tumblr_lmodlgtkXe1qd70wlo1_500Can someone tell me why it is we have to beat ourselves up over and over again over stuff that we 100% shouldn’t be beating ourselves up about? Alright, here’s today’s rant… I hate my body again, and why? It was like a switch that flipped, and I’m unhappy again… I swear, loving your body is like bi-polar disease… one minute you hate it, the next you’re happy, and then after that, maybe even like only 6 minutes after, you hate it again.. WHY?!?!

    This weekend, I conquered another fear of mine… doing a CrossFit competition all on my own, without my team, AND on top of it, doing it Rx…. Now, normally, that’s pretty awesome, and people want to give you a high-five for being so awesome that you would do that… and doing it, I felt awesome… I had completed something I never thought in a million years I would have ever completed… I was so happy/pumped/proud… I had been SUPER nervous going into it, and it’s funny because someone even made a comment about me in passing, saying, “she seems so outgoing and effortlessly confident” (now if that isn’t the best compliment I could have ever heard about myself, hahaah) MAN I must put on a good poker face, because I was scared SHITLESS! And the whole day was amazing, I had amazing people cheering me on, that I had only met a handful of times, and I didn’t feel like I wasn’t alone… I did well for my ability, and overall, it was just fun. Honestly, that’s the best part of CrossFit, is the community. People pushing you, even if they don’t know you. The post I wrote about why the hell everyone should compete, with a team, everything still applies for doing it by yourself, except you just have to get over the fear of doing it alone….

    Screen Shot 2014-08-25 at 3.57.17 PM

    SEE I WAS HAPPY WITH MYSELF, WHAT HAPPENED!!!!

    Everything was peachy, till the next day…. the next day when something was revealed that I didn’t want to be revealed. Here’s a little twist about the competition, on the first workout, you had to be weighed…. because your weight was getting divided by what you lifted in the first workout to give you your placement… now I knew going in, I would be getting weighed, and I didn’t care, because I thought I had been doing great… and I didn’t look at the scale when they weighed me because I didn’t want to get down if something were to not be right.. it’s just a number RIGHT?? Well apparently I was wrong, and the scale was wrong, and everything was just wrong because that number, that number that I finally saw a whole day after the competition on my drive home from NY, made me burst into tears… that number was a number I wasn’t expecting to see…. AND THIS WAS JUST AFTER I HAD THOUGHT I WAS HAPPY WITH MYSELF HAHAAHA… Not sure if you saw this on our FB page, but I was so happy the day before hahaa, proof is in the photo to the left… Is it possible to just cut off my head, or like put the rest of my body in a paper bag and walk around with just an exposed head with perfect hair?? Because apparently all I care about right now is that number on that damn scale that I have PREACHED about not caring about.

    Why do we let this happen to ourselves? Why isn’t the fact that I lifted more then all the amazingly strong ladies at the comp enough… why isn’t knowing I’m strong and powerful good enough? Why is self acceptance and body image such a huge issue? Why can’t it just be good enough for us to be strong and healthy and it not matter what it takes our body to look like for us to feel good about ourselves?

    I feel like such a hypocrite when all I want to do is celebrate the fact that a year ago, I could have never done this… I was out of shape, super over weight, and miserable… I couldn’t even lift a bar over my head, and now I’m clean and jerking 170lbs… but apparently, that isn’t good enough for me, and I feel like I’m not good enough for society…

    GET OUT OF MY HEAD STUPID THOUGHTS, and please welcome back the, I am strong, I am happy, I am me, I am CONFIDENT thoughts… I know that they will come back, but in this moment of weakness, I am sad… and I thought I would tell you about it because I am sure I’m not the ONLY one who rides the emotional body-image roller coaster! 🙂 haha I should be celebrating the fact that I could kick dude’s asses….

    So, I’m going to say, here and now, one last time, for all the world to hear… I might not be happy at this moment, but I am going to get passed it, I’m going to NOT care about the number, and I am going to love myself for the BAMF I am…. and if you’re feeling the way I’m feeling, you should think the same thing too…. Let’s say EFF you negative thoughts, you AREN’T WELCOME on this roller coaster anymore! 🙂

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    FML! Stupid pants!

  • Guest Blog!! "PROTEIN BALLS!"

    249105_10151583749723680_1529127214_nHello, my name is Alex and I am a Crossfit addict. I put in several hours a day several days a week at my box, watched reruns of the 2013 games on YouTube at work, recorded the 2014 games so that I could re-watch the world’s fittest over and over, I made it my mission to get to there in the Masters by age 50 (long term goal) and I dream that I will wake up as Elisabeth Akinwale.

    My boxmate TK and I are always talking about being “bout this life” but being “bout this life” means putting in work in the gym, on the track, on the trail and mostly in the kitchen. You’ve got to take in the “good” carbs and fats, and all the lean protein you can get. I am one of those people who carries chicken breast in a baggie in her purse. Which by the by when people see you pulling out a chicken baggie, you have to wonder if they think you are like a hardcore body builder or you have a weird obsession with chicken. I need of a change, I decided to play to my strengths and head to the kitchen. That’s my segway into talking about my balls.

    (Read aloud in a seductive voice) My balls have steel cut oats, chia seeds, flax meal, nut butter (of course) and dark chocolate and that’s just to start. They are delicious, sweet and give you the feeling that you are being naughty and having a bad treat but you are taking in protein, Omega 3s, healthy fat and my personal favorite chocolate.

    I would like to say that my pastry background helped with this recipe but truth is I was hangry (we all know that hungry/angry feeling) and just threw it together. Little of this and a little of that, add something sticky to bring it together and BOOM there you go. I made them as an experiment and fed them to my guinea pig, TK, she loved them and it was a wrap. I now have to make a few times a week and I often get late night text begging me for more.

    So you know you want to get you some. Get you some the “bout this life” balls.

    A few things to keep in mind:

    I treat recipes as guidelines, follow it as is once, then switch it up the second time around.

    This recipe is flexible: sub out the coconut peanut butter for any nut butter you prefer. Hell you could make it majorly decadent and add, gasp, chocolate hazelnut spread.

    Let’s get it….

    10601133_10152614348028680_198810688_nIngredients

    • ½ cup almond meal or “flour”
    • 1 cup steel cut or old fashioned oats (#notpaleo)
    • ¼ cup flax meal
    • ¼ cup chia seeds
    • 1 cup coconut peanut butter (yes, that’s a thing)
    • ½ c *toasted unsweetened coconut
    • ½ c honey
    • ½ cup dark chocolate chips
    • 1 *scoop protein powder

    Put all the dry ingredients into a bowl. Add the honey and mix until combined. Once combined, use a small scoop or tablespoon to portion out the mixture. With wet hands, roll the mix into nice round balls. Place the balls on a plate or sheet tray and chill. Keep in zip top bag or in an air tight container in the fridge. Eat as your heart desires.

    *Spread the dry unsweet coconut on an ungreased baking sheet and toast in the oven at 350 degrees for about 5-7 minutes. Keep an eye on it because it can burn easily. You are looking for GBD, golden brown delicious. Allow to cool and use in the recipe or store in a zip top bag.

    *Depending on your protein powder you may need to use 2 scoop to get a full serving.

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  • Guest Blog: "The Myth of the Before & After Photo"

    erica-gym-1-3158094511-OWell hello there new friends!  My name is Erica and over the last couple of years I’ve been in BAMF-Beast-and-all-around-BADASSERY mode and have been successful in losing 100 lbs.  And while there are a myriad lessons I’ve learned (mostly the hard way) during this process, the one I want to talk about today is the idea of an “After” body.

    We’re all guilty of it.  We look at magazines, at movie stars, and at those skinny b–witches at the gym.  What am I talking about?  Body shopping!  We’re at the gym, getting our lift on or hitting the elliptical and we catch a glimpse of that perfect gym Barbie doll…and then we think to ourselves, ”Man—if I only had her legs, I’d be happy!” or ”God Becky—look at her butt!  I wish I had a butt that small/big/strong”.  I’m often guilty of building my ideal self…I’ll look at the women at the gym and piece them together, designing what my perfect body would look like.  I’d have strong, lean arms and a round, strong butt and of course a flat stomach with a six-pack, and sexy traps (but not like that girl, because she’s a little too brawny….more like her over there in the size 2 lulus).

    Ierica-trashmore-24-3294007437-O have an epiphany to share with you that has rocked my world.  YOU, yes YOU, are someone’s perfect “After” photo.  You, yes YOU, at the gym, sweating profusely with that self-perceived fluffiness or that flabby arm you constantly complain about.  Someone is looking at you, wishing they could have your arms, legs, back, butt, biceps, or [insert your awesomeness here].  They see you working your butt off and they wish they could have your courage, your tenacity, and your badassery.  No matter what stage of the health/fitness/weight loss journey you are in, you are already an After picture.

    Let me put it this way…at my heaviest, I was a solid size 22 and easily inching my way into a size 24.  I’m 5’2 by the way, so for my height that was a loooot of extra weight to carry around.  I can remember thinking that if I could just get into a size 16 I’d be happy.  I mean, I could shop at “regular” stores and not face the stigma of shopping in a plus sized boutique.  I accomplished that goal and then longed to fit into a size 8, surely that would make me happy!  I did that and I wanted more…or less, rather.  I wanted a size 6…no, 4…no….

    See what I’m getting at?  Even after the accomplishment of losing the weight, I still body shop.  I still struggle to be happy with just me.  By reminding myself that I already am someone’s after photo, I become grateful for my present place in this journey.  I am thankful that I’ve had the courage to develop goals, the dedication to do the work to achieve them, and to now have the opportunity to share my journey with others.  What’s important here is that we realize that we have a responsibility to ourselves and to our fellow health-journey-enthusiasts to accept ourselves wherever we are at, love our inherent badassery, and to be role models to those who are also struggling with image issues.

    By the way…yes, people are staring at you when you’re at the gym.  NO, it’s not because you’re bloated or red or sweaty.   It’s because they look up to you.  They want your body, your athleticism, and your awesome athletic apparel 🙂  Sorry—shameless plug, but for real, T2T is awesomesauce!  Embrace the amazing talent that you bring to the gym, the contagious spirit that you probably don’t even realize is present, and that your body is already a masterpiece, capable of more than you can imagine.

    Thank you for letting me share a lesson I’ve learned I’m learning with all of you!  I know this may fall into the category of “easier said than done”, but trust that I’m right in that boat with you.  Little by little our minds will catch up with our bodies’ changes and we will learn to embrace our amazing selves!  If you haven’t been bored to tears yet, you can read more about me as well as my other rants on my blog, Sweat Equity Works (www.sweatequityworks.com or find me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/sweatequityworks).  And of course, thank you to the T2T team for extending their hospitality and allowing me to share.  You girls rock!

    Love, E

    (from Andrea… ps, we had 2 other titles for this blog hahahah, and I just had to share!
    “Attention K-Mart Shoppers!”
    “The Myth of the Before & After Photo”
    “After photos are like unicorns. And you’re one bad ass unicorn”)

    erica-trashmore-56-3294014073-OErica’s Bio-

    Three words that would describe me?  Ha!  That’s a loaded question.  Caring, spunky, and driven???  I’m 27 years old and over the last few years I have lost 110 pounds.  I put down the pizza and have picked up weights.  Heavy weights…lots of them.  Over and over again.  And I LOVE it!  Beyond striving gym rat status, I am a medical social worker currently working with renal dialysis patients.  I live near the beach and my daily goal is to laugh so hard that my cheeks and abs hurt!  I have two mottos that I live by:

    1. Sweat Equity Works.  Sweat equity is the realization that you are worth the effort and that you are also responsible for that progress. No one’s going to fight harder than you.  #truth

    2. Embrace Amazing.  Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself to experience greatness.  You’re worth it.  #truth

  • 30 things I would tell my 21 year old self, now that I'm 30!

    hmm thirty, not really flirty (bottom left) and thriving! hahaha

    hmm thirty, not really flirty (bottom left) and thriving! hahaha

    Well, it finally happened… I finally got dragged into my 30th year, kicking and screaming I might add… I don’t know why I’m so afraid to be 30. I think it’s because young people think that 30 is like the new 60… Like basically when you turn 30, you have to be in bed by 8pm, you get citizen senior discounts, and you are no longer FUN. (and let me just say, CELEBRATING my 30th birthday, only confirmed that I, unfortunately, am no longer 21. haha).

    That movie coined the term great… thirty, flirty, and thriving… now, for me, it’s more like, thirty, can’t be flirty, and trying to be thriving hahaha, so, movies, thank you for giving every girl false hope when they turn 30. But what HAS turning 30 taught me? Let’s make a list of things that I would tell the 21 year old me, to find out!

    30. STOP EFFING DRINKING…. Listen, 21 is great and all, and drinking is great… but do you know how hard it is to take OFF all those pounds you’ve added by boozing it up with your friends because you don’t have a care in the world, mom and dad have no control over you and you think it’s cool to not workout and get drunk all the time… it’s going to add up! haha

    29. People are mean, they will pick on you for your size, but when you get older, you won’t care about it that much, it DOES get better…. so, tell those assholes, to eFF off, and enjoy the rest of your 20’s.

    28. You’re getting winded walking up the stairs… workout… more. I know it sucks, but it will help down the road.

    photo (42)27. Food is great, explore more, pizza and fast food will go to your hips and belly, and FAST. EAT CLEAN, taco bell is great when you’re drunk, but actual clean food with no processed crap will be SO much better for you in the long run!

    26. Working out is FUN! Going to planet fitness once a week, isn’t… haha, I know you’re trying, but keep with it, you’re going to end up loving working out one day! (and it will be easier because you won’t be so out of shape haha)

    25. STOP planning your fake wedding… you’ll get married one day, and you’ll love it, and you’ll lose weight for it and start a blog about it, but live in the NOW not in the future!

    24. TRAVEL, upstate NY is cool, sure, and your friends are cool, but you are only young once… and then you get responsibilities and it makes it much more difficult to travel (and EAT while you’re traveling) haha

    23. Too much of a good thing, is sometimes enough. (Thanks mads)

    22. Work to live, don’t live to work – I know you like working, and that’s all fine and dandy, and you have lots of ideas for companies, but you have to LIVE too – you’re only 21 once.

    21. Seriously, STOP leaving clothes around that you think you’re going to fit into again one day. You won’t… people could USE those clothes, instead of you having a whole separate bedroom for your clothes!

    20. Your memory SUCKS… start writing everything down (in fact, writing this blog, i had a good thing to tell myself, and i went to start writing, and i forgot it! do’h!)

    19. Family… appreciate them more.. you’re going to lose a few, and it’s going to be hard, so spend more time with them, it will mean the world to you when you can’t any longer.

    18. Stop spending money.. a trip to target to buy tooth paste should NOT turn into a 300$ trip to target on the credit card to get new clothes, new going out outfits, WINE for your friends… you’ll need that money one day, and having credit issues is going to hurt you when you try to start businesses!

    17. You don’t need everyone to like you! Friends are awesome, but down the road, it won’t matter… it really won’t.

    16. Your body isn’t perfect and you don’t have to pretend like it is, and you should love it instead of worrying so much about hating it.

    15. You should checkout crossfit, you end up doing it when you’re 28 and you love it hahaha, so, hey, give it a shot, maybe by the time your 30 you will have won the crossfit games!

    14………… Maybe I should have just made a list of the top 15 things! No but for real, Turning 30 really isn’t that bad, the only thing that sucks is that it’s going to be even harder to stay in shape and not gain 1,000,000 pounds when you binge out on pizza on sundays because you don’t want to cook. But we are all human right, and turning 30 is just another day, and it’s another day to be pumped I’m still here!

     

  • Guest Blog! "An Open Letter to my Plateau"

    So, we have been growing our community of awesome people, and I am proud to announce the start of our guest blogging!!! OUR VERY FIRST BLOG, comes from the AMAZING, HEATHER!!!! I love her post, and think it’s SO on point and HILARIOUS, because frankly, plateau’s SUCK!! Here’s a little bit about Heather, and then I am going to let her take it away! 🙂

    I’m a 30 year old lawyer/quilter/obsessive reader, married, have a dog named Zee, live in West Virginia (#dontjudge) and for most of the first 28.83 years of my life I was seriously overweight. My journey began on January 3, 2013.

    10543644_10100701294522025_4610218387807241284_nAn Open Letter to My Plateau:

    I was warned you’d arrive. My husband (also my trainer) told me to expect you. You were mentioned the first workout and each week thereafter (sometimes multiple times a week), but I pushed you out of my mind and ignored my husband (uhhhh, never done that before. Ever. I swear. Uh-huh.). Surely you weren’t coming for me. I HAD OVER 100 POUNDS TO LOSE! You don’t happen to people with my kind of weight to lose – you happen to skinny people who think they need to lose ten pounds (and who usually make such declarations after eating Chipotle). So I ignored you. If I had learned nothing else during all of those years of being overweight, it was how to quiet unpleasant thoughts – I now used those skills on suppressing thoughts of you.

    I worked out a lot – frankly, I rocked it. My elliptical, who I named Eli (#seewhatididthere?!), and I began a serious relationship. I spent less time thinking about you and more time thinking about eating healthy and how the hell I was going to get through the next workout (why did they keep getting harder?!). I lost 90 pounds in 10 months. My goal was 100 pounds in a year and I was going to hit it. NOTHING COULD STOP ME.

    And then you arrived, and I was stunned. You are an unwelcome houseguest. You are the credit card bill after a trip to the outlets. I cried. I was pissed. The scale was stuck at 180 pounds. Was it broken? I checked the batteries. I researched new scales. I tested them at the stores. The numbers wouldn’t move for me. I made my husband get on the scale just to make sure the digital numbers would give a different result. I weighed the dog. How could I make you leave? I wasn’t going to stop eating pretzels. That’s just stupid.

    And then I had a medical complication. Did you know that losing weight quickly can give you gallstones?! THANK YOU MEDICAL DOCTORS OF THE WORLD WHO NEVER TOLD ME THAT. Out of every doctor who told me I needed to lose weight (read: all of them), you think that one of them could have mentioned it. So now, instead of focusing on you, I had to focus on getting my gallbladder out.

    I couldn’t work out for a few weeks and you used that time to spread out and unpack. My goal was now far from my mind. I decided that if you were going to stick around for a while we may as well be friends. The scale had stayed at 180 for so long, I began to rely on you. We moved. I went to picnics. I ate the most delicious burgers and french fries and potato salad. I drank lots of wine. I began working out again, but not as hard – but you, my dear plateau, you would keep me right where I was supposed to be. UNTIL YOU DIDN’T. One day you were there – and then in the middle of the night you packed up and left. WTF?! The scale was up to 190. Ok ok, maybe you left a week or two before and I was so comfortable in my minimal workouts and weekend picnics that I didn’t notice. Again I was crushed. Pissed. I relied on you and you left me.

    So you know what I did? I doubled down. The old me would have wallowed and ate more burgers. Not anymore. I found people who want to push me further in my workouts. I found a Community of Awesome. I forced myself to run. We started Friday night workout parties. And slowly I’m getting back to where I was when we were first introduced – but this time I’m not worried. This time I’m not focused on you or the scale. This time I’m just focused on ME.

    So next time you visit, come on in. Bring pretzels.

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