Alright, so, we all know… the WORST part about getting new clothes is going into that damn dressing room and staring at ourselves in the mirror while we dress and undress to try on new clothes… I mean hello, people who design those dressing rooms, couldn’t you make it so maybe there was enough room where we didn’t have to LOOK at ourselves if we didn’t want to instead of making it so we are basically in a small case box of mirrors??!?
ANYWAYS, we all know that feeling, we go in, we get upset, because something doesn’t fit, and we get upset. I have blogged before about literally crying in dressing rooms – that is the norm for me. (omg esp target dressing rooms, I don’t know what it is, but they are the worst)… Well, this weekend I had to get a dress for a wedding (I went shopping saturday morning when the wedding was saturday night haha), so I decided, well, I was forced, to not do my usual, buy about 10 options in hopes of fitting into 1 and returning the other 9 (which never happens either, I swear retail stores make so much money on me and my closet full of brand new tagged clothes HAHA)… I knew I had to pick something there, and try it on. So the hunt began. And, as per usual, I found 14 dresses I thought would look FABULOUS ON ME. (yeah right, what was I smoking). Got into that dressing room and started the process… Step 1: undress yourself in front of that amazing mirror.. now for me, I was wearing my wicked gross gym clothes, because I had just done a WOD.. so, I’m sorry to whomever decided to try on those dresses after me, because frankly, that’s gross. Step 2: put dress one on. Step 3: Awkwardly look at yourself from all angles… Step 4: START CRYING BECAUSE YOU HATE THE WAY YOU LOOK (because in your head, that dress was going to look BANGING on you)… Step 5: Try the rest on, keep crying.. Step 6: Walk out, with big puffy red eyes, and nothing in hand to purchase.
But hold up… When I was getting ready for step 4 in my head… something happened.. I didn’t get all upset, or anxious, or mad that things weren’t fitting properly.. I was like oh well, either go up in size or down in size, but I’m not upset… What the hell was happening to me? What was going on in that head… Was I actually happy with the way I was feeling in my own skin? SHUT UP? Really? Well, yes… yes I was… because when I would have quit at dress 4, I had gone and put on all 14 dresses – without ONE TEAR on my face… Seriously WHAT was going on with me… and that was exactly what I was thinking when I was looking at myself in the mirror… “wow, I’m not upset with myself, I need to remember this.”
Now, I don’t know honestly what the change was.. I don’t know if it’s just I’m finally in a happy place with my body, or I’m finally realizing the looks and size and all of that don’t matter… it’s so hard to break your mind of hating yourself, but I can tell you, once you do, it’s the most amazing feeling in the world. I felt SOO good walking out of that dressing room not because I had picked out a super cute dress, but because I didn’t FREAKING CRY. (but i ended up not even wearing the dress because when I finally got ready, got all my spanks on and crap, I just wasn’t loving it anymore HAHA)… BUT, the fact that I didn’t get upset, just made everything worth it….