• Halloween, why I've always hated this holiday!

    MjAxMy0wNDAzMGViNWNkNDc1MjVkSo we are just a little over a week away from my LEAST favorite holiday…. Actually, honestly, these days, it really doesn’t matter because my focus has changed from going out and raging in a skanky costume, to handing out candy or taking our nieces and nephews out to trick or treat…. BUT, there is still a little part of me that wants to be able to get all skankafied and go to a party and feel hot… because GUESS WHAT. I have NEVER been able to do that. Ever.. and that, my friends, is why I freaking HATE THIS STUPID HOLIDAY.

    costumes

    I tell ya, they make anything sexy – a guitar? really? a chinese take out box? really??? thats my costume to the right, a hippo – SO HOT hahaah

    Ok high school, wasn’t that bad, you dressed up in semi-skanky clothes… (depending on what crowd you were in hahaha), but then you get to college, and I swear, Halloween was the one holiday every dude in the world looked forward to… Why? Oh I don’t know why, maybe because girls made even the WORST costumes into something super awesome and scandalous! I mean MORE power to you if you could pull it off – but when the fully clothed “cute hippo” walks in with a grey hoodie and sweat pants, and she’s sitting next to a HOT GUITAR?????, that just doesn’t work people… doesn’t work. This pressure every year, being the big, chubby girl… ugh that was the worst feeling in the world… and even when you get OUT of college – it’s all about parties in your new cities where you’ve moved to after college and you and your girlfriends start planning in like MAY for your halloween costumes… I remember one year me and my two friends were Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but sexy of course…. and oh my god, they looked great, I looked like shit. HAHAHAHA….. It’s just an ugly cycle for me — this holiday makes me want to crawl into a hole and pretend I am being the groundhog from groundhogs day for Halloween! That way I can just hide, and i don’t have to talk to anyone. hahaha… In fact, if I’m remembering this the right way, that halloween that we were TMNT (and we weren’t even that skanky) I left the bar early because I just felt soooooo uncomfortable looking like crap, with all these other amazingly hot girls around me, ugh it just sucked. SUCKED.
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  • Sweating for the Wedding… I actually did it.

    So you know how you like, get engaged, say you are going to lose a ton of weight, and usually don’t? Or any life event for that matter… I’ve always been like that… I was always like, hey, this event is coming up, I want to look good, I’m going TO START NOW!….. Well, I did that… I did that, and that’s how this whole entire blog even started… That’s how Thick 2 Thin was born… Because I wanted to SWEAT FOR THE WEDDING… Welp… I’m happy to say, the wedding is now over, I’m married, and I DID IT. Yep, I did it, not to the amount I really wanted, but at least 1/3 of me was GONE… Gone, done, bye bye fatttttt…….. See ya later, NOT. Yep, that was me, and for the first time in my whole life, I finally felt good about my accomplishments…. (well, minus a few things that I will get into later.. haha).

    This weekend I got to experience what a TON of people experience, I got to be a bride… I got to marry my best friend… I got to look like a million bucks (well, if I could do it over, I would have totally TOTALLY done my hair differently HAHAHA)… I had all the attention on me, and all of the love and everything was here for us… and that was pretty cool…. Well minus the whole attention thing HAHA… I really do love attention, but only when I’m drunk and make a fool out of myself kind of attention… not planned, 150 people staring at you all at once type of attention! Hands down, the best weekend of my life… but if we are going to be 100% honest with each other (which I like to do if you couldn’t tell)…

    As much as I was happy with myself, and how I looked, I still couldn’t shake that feeling of, oh, I could have looked better… I still couldn’t shake that feeling, of, oh, my arms, look at my arms, or look at my fat on my back. And Juan actually yelled at me for it. We were talking about the wedding on Sunday, and I was saying how I wish I would have looked a certain way, or done my hair differently so it hid some of my flaws, and he just said, shut up, why can’t you be happy with everything?? And honestly, I can, but at the same time, I couldn’t. I’m sitting here, going back and thinking about it and thinking about how I can’t wait to just keep going… How on our one-year anniversary, I want to look even better.. I want to walk into my dress and have it not be able to fit on my body at all… But that shouldn’t even be on my mind.. I should be so proud of everything I’ve accomplished, RIGHT?!?!?

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